Interior Designer-Todd Russell
The Gay Life After 40 Spotlight was created for our readers to get a glimpse of the diversity and experiences of the Gay Life after 40 readership . If you know someone who you would like to nominate for the Gay Life After 40 spotlight , they must be 40 years old or above and must be a subscriber to our newsletter. Please email will@gaylifeafter40.com to nominate.
Name
Todd Russell
Birth Place
Watertown, Wisconsin
Occupation
Interior Designer
Volunteer
What kind of volunteering do you do?
I volunteer for a nonprofit agency that is committed to helping people infected and affected by HIV.
Why do you volunteer?
I volunteer because I can make a difference where someone or something needs help. If people never help each other and only care for themselves, the world becomes a crueler, sadder place. When we volunteer our time, money, or talents, we help make our world a better, happier place where people work together to make life easier for all.
Words that best describe you?
Sincere, Witty, Understanding, Thoughtful, Authentic, Friendly, Advocate, Creative
Who has been your biggest influence in your life?
People! The most visible creators I know of are those artists whose medium is life. The people who express the inexpressible. Without brushes, hammer,clay or guitar, they do not paint or sculpt. Their medium is being! Whatever their presence touches has increased life. They are the artists of being ALIVE.
When did you become out to friends and family?
One of the defining conversations that I had with myself was that absolutely no good can come from me staying quiet about my sexuality. I decided to come out to my family when I was a freshman in college.
I would give anything to meet…
Madonna! The Philanthropist, Mother, Performer, and Provocateur
Your idea of a perfect evening is?
Silence is golden. Just curled up tugged in tight and resting my head on his shoulder on a lazy Sunday. In the quiet, listening to his heart beat and feeling his breath on my forehead. Closing my eyes and smiling to my heart’s content. Then tilting my head and feeling the brush of his sweet lips on mine.
The last book I read was….
The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year …
Author: Andy Cohen
The Zohar
Author: Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai
My favorite movies/plays are?
The Normal Heart (play and movie)
Wicked (the musical)
Moulin Rouge
James Bond movies
I’m curious, why do you like James bond movies? I have noticed many gay men do.
He is the ultimate fantasy of every guy! He is everything without really trying. He’s bullet proof. He is ageless. He’s a natural, he knows everything. He is self-reliant and independent. He has no fear, no worries is always cool. The cool music is always playing in the background. He has all the latest gadgets. Lastly, he always ends up with the coolest car.
Nobody knows that I…..
I wish I could be a spy!
What had been your biggest setback or failure in life and how did you overcome it?
My biggest failure in life was not believing in myself. We all make mistakes and we don’t always learn from them. Change for the better is always possible. Find someone whose opinion you value and can help you see the value in your life and help you learn from the mistakes you made. After all, if you’ve never failed, then you’ve probably never succeeded on any significant level.
Why didn’t you believe in yourself?
I allowed others to make me feel small. My mission now is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To learn to take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my abilities and flaws. The hard part for me is to stop the incessant worrying that I can’t be loved just as I am.
So what made you believe in yourself? How were you inspired?
The trick for me was that I learned it’s completely fine to try and fail, to put yourself out there and not be perfect, to say hello to someone and have them not instantly love you,to create something and allow people to judge you. These things I’m afraid of; they’re actually desirable. We need to learn to see them that way, and embrace them, letting go of the fear.
What’s the biggest goal you are working on now?
To live a life filled with gratitude. I think one of the key reasons I do not make gratitude a part of my everyday life is because I live life at an accelerated pace and have many distractions. It is far too easy to forget the importance. The expression of gratitude is really essential to us as humans. The benefit of living a grateful life encompasses every emotion. Not always great, not always visible, yet connected. I am learning how to be content throughout the journey.
If you could meet your younger self, you would tell him….
When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. It is not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. Encouragement should come from inside.
What are the biggest challenges you have as a gay man after 40?
Finding “The One”. It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams. Now that’s “The One”.
What would you like to say to the Gay Life after 40 tribe?
Do not fall in love with the face and body. Fall in love with the spirit, heart and character.
Where can our readers find you or know more about you?
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