I Don’t want to Die Alone

By Max Roberts

As we get older, we realize that life can give us some challenges when we least expect it.  As older GLBT’s, we may be without a partner when we actually are the most vulnerable. We all need someone to turn to for help in getting to and from Doctor visits and to be your advocate if something happens and you are not able to speak. Despite being independent most of our lives, one must start considering what would happen if you became ill. It doesn’t mean that I want you to spend all your time worrying about death and not  LIVING.

 But it is important to plan something now while you are healthy than to leave it until the day you are unable to speak or you are in an emergency situation. So prepare for your ill-health Back Up Plan now while you are well.

First, you must have some people in your life that can be your emergency contact and/ or be designated as your Power of Attorney for Health Care. You must have a support system in place.  He or she must know what your position is regarding medical directives and end of life. Typically, these support systems are your immediate family members like siblings and alike. But there are many single GLBTs that utilize close friends or ex lovers.

Second, one must have your papers in order and filed in a way that a person can actually find them with out too much assistance from you.It is important to have this information available so they can make the best decisions possible for you.

Papers like:  
Power of Attorney
Advanced Directive,
Health Care Proxy or Living Will
List of bank accounts, credit cards,
numbers and locations.
Health and medical insurance information
Originals of
Social Security
Medicare
Managed care
Dental cards
Life insurance policies

Names of your :

Doctors, Lawyers, Accountant

You may leave Wills, Life Insurance policies, Tax Returns to your attorney to protect your personal decisions.

For Advanced Health Care Directives:

• Choose someone who will talk with you now about your wishes, who will understand what you want and your priorities about health care, and who will do as you ask faithfully when the time comes.

• Choose someone who lives near you or could travel to be with you, if needed.

• Choose someone you trust with your life.

• Choose someone who can handle conflicting opinions from family members, friends and medical personnel.

• Choose someone who can be a strong advocate if a doctor or institution is unresponsive.

I do want you to realize that having a partner or husband  may not be as powerful a predictor of whether you will die alone as whether you have maintained a close circle of friends. Please don’t try to find a mate only because your afraid to die alone. As you can read from the MetLife Study that there are many GLBT’s living alone. You are not unusual. Again, this isn’t about scaring you but lending you a hand so you are prepared to enlist a support group in your time of need and in the way you want it to be directed and avoiding the worst case scenario of dying alone .

Does any of our readers want to add something based on your personal experiences?

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